a BRING YOUR OWN MAT moment

In her novel White Oleander, Jane Fritch suggests that beauty is something to be used, "like a hammer or a key". Thats your assignment, Pisces. Find practical ways to make your beauty work for you. For example, invoke it to help you win friends and influence people. Put it into action to drum up new opportunities and hunt down provocative invitations. And don't tell me you possess insufficient beauty to accomplish these things. I guarantee you that you have more than enough. To understand why I'm so sure, you may have to shed some ugly definitions of beauty you've unconsciously absorbed from our warped culture. - Rob Brezsny of Free Will Astrology

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Why I will never talk about weight loss

Yes I am overweight and yes I want to lose just a couple of pounds. I am just going to talk about it only this once. No more asking why I don't talk about weight loss.

When I was 175lbs a guy I had a crush on stated if I lost 15lbs I would be more attractive. I lost that 15lbs, only to find he told someone I still looked the same and that I should lose more. Hmmmmm.
The funny thing before word got around of what he stated, in the process of that weight loss, I became uninterested in him, and I fell in love with myself for who I am, regardless of how he felt, bared no meaning for me, followed suit to anyone who felt my weight was an issue FOR THEM.

Forward 14 years.
With a child, a life, school, a move to Texas; to juggle all that, I had no clue the amount of weight I carried with me. I am being sarcastic.  Its not as if I don't see myself in the mirror. Everyone I knew made an issue of weight, theirs. How could I not be aware? My thing is, I feel sad not because I didn't spend time thinking and questioning my looks but because I find myself to be very attractive, beautiful and sexy. MY HAIR LOOKS AMAZING EVERY DAY PEOPLES! I DON'T DWELL ON MYSELF. I just felt sad knowing that there are individuals who are absorbed with an idea of perfection that they didn't take the time to notice, how amazing they really look.

Point that I am making about weight loss. I am consumed more of, how am I going to repair my jeep and where did my dog Pumpkin run off too, more than I am about how unflattering a shirt looks on me. I mean I know my son hasn't gone to college yet but I miss him already. AYE! My mindset is just different from the average person.

I am not enabling anyone to stay unhealthy over weight, I mean the day that I saw skinny jeans for size 18 irked me a great deal. I just don't want to make weight loss an issue. I mean I had a friend who was 6'1, 145lbs and was told by a trainer that she was obese. To see how much that damaged her she even switched doctors because her doctor questioned why would she need a lap band.

I don't want to spend a another minute talking about weight loss because its a distorted health concern. They say its health but really its the visual aesthetic perception to another person. The worst part, nobody even knows the difference between being overweight or not. I find myself to be sexy and the girl next to me (way slimmer with perfect breast whom I find even sexier) complains about how fat she is! I think to myself, "Shit I wish I was fat like her", yet in my wicked smirk, I am aware of how much more worse about one could think of himself/herself than I am about me. I am such a bitch.

You won't lose weight because of Yoga or physical activity you decide to venture in. You will lose weight when you want to, not when someone tells you to, but when you sit here without any influence from others, you will sit here and say, "I am ready."

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